Thursday, April 1, 2010

"ATTACK" - wow...shocking!?!

So – looking back over your life can you see the “enemy’s attack” when you step out in obedience? Man, I sure can! Should we not EXPECT it by now? Is it just me that sometimes “forgets” and then is shocked when it happens??

Take today for instance…I’m “basking in the goodness” of checking “START THE BLOG” off my to-do list. People’s comments are sweet and someone even called to tell me that they were holding me accountable to keep it up, etc. I’ve made a list of different topics I want to write about….even had one mapped out to post today (hey – I had it done last night but wanted to make people wait for it! Hahaha!)

But – in steps SATAN…trying to mess with my head – make me back off and change my focus. This afternoon I’ve heard little recordings going off in my head –



“Yeah Lori – you’re REAL “spiritual”…such a great example…
if only people could see how you talked to your husband this afternoon!”

and

“Good job girl…way to be supportive of the guy you are proclaiming to
support, respect and love!”


Ugh….

My biggest fear is that this blog will be, “Do what God tells me to write/share…NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY DO!” I soooo don’t want it to be that but – after the “discussion” (Ok…”FIGHT”) that Tom and I had this afternoon…I’m feeling a little defeated! There were tears (mine!), a few raised voices (mine again!), lots of frustration that we didn’t understand each other and some hurtful comments. I’m ashamed and sorry for the way I handled things – I’ve apologized to God and will to Tom as well (when he returns from umpiring a few games tonight…more on that later). Looking back it was probably a discussion that needed to happen, as there were some issues that needed to be addressed…just not the way we choose to “address” it.

But as I sit here now – still sad about the way I handled things, I know that this has MUCH more to do with Satan’s attempt to make me shut the thing down and go along my merry way. I know he HATES to see marriages survive and can’t stand anyone that would speak up and say “I love my unemployed husband and am trusting God to provide for our family...and we ARE gonna make it!”
I’ve been “warned”, in the past, by well-meaning friends that have been concerned that I’ve put my devotion and love for Tom and my family “out there” too much (I know – some of you have gagged on a few facebook status updates!). But – this chick isn’t backing down…I (we) have fought hard for this marriage and for our family…and in a world that makes it look easier to walk away and “try something (or someone) new” – I’m sticking with what I’ve got…it’s just who I am.

So – I say – “Bring It On”.

(gulp…”Ok God…I’m trusting you here!”) ;)

Just keeping it real –
Lori

10 comments:

  1. An honest blog is a worthwhile blog :) Great job!

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  2. Girl we need more people to put their God honoring marriages "out there" for the sake of Christ!! Thank you for your honesty and I will join you in prayer for God's protection over your marriage. One thing I have had to learn is one argument or 10 does not mean your marriage is falling apart. It is merely an argument and yes there is an enemy that would lead you to believe differently. I am so proud of you!!

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  3. As a young married, you're honesty about your marriage and family is such a blessing to me. It always makes me feel like we're (Gabe and I)still on a good path when I learn that couples that I admire, in marriages I admire, with a family that I admire have fights just like we do (with tears, raised voices, and frustration). Thank you, thank you for being so open and sharing your experiences and wisdom so freely.

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  4. Great job! I have incredible respect for those who fight for their marriages. Being willing to apologize and forgive can go a long, long way. trust me.

    You can't trust a couple who say they never fight or raise their voices at each other. Ben and I have learned to argue/disagree pretty well, but we still lose it and feel bad afterwards and apologize all over ourselves. I appreciate your honestly and your perspective. You are right. Satan will do everything he can to seperate us from God. He's kind of predictable to me now. I just roll my eyes and tell him where he can shove it when I hear that tape playing in my head that he always uses to make me doubt God's ways. But only if I realize it's him before I react to the message. I'm shocked too when I finally realize that I fell for his nonsense again. Good thing there's grace. :)

    Looking forward to reading what you had mapped out.

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  5. WOW... Again, truth FAITH shining through here!

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  6. You sure you're not talking about me the last time this happened??!!
    The difference is, you realize right away that this is NOT right and are unwilling to let it fester. I believe it's called listening to the Holy Spirit in you. WRITE on, my sister friend!!

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  7. Yep, (gulp) had this experience today with my hubs. Thanks for keeping it real...!

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  8. Your honesty and motto of keeping it real is so refreshing. So many of us are too scared to publicly be real the way you are! I know God will bless you and others for it. It's cool to know that I am not the only who struggles to keep composure and disagree in a way that glorifies God during those tense marital spats.

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  9. Authenticity is what keeps people going... keep it up sister!

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