I am both shocked and embarrassed at how long it's been since I posted on this blog..but "I'm back" and currently have lots to type/say!
God is giving me, once again, the desires of my heart...some time away with Him.
I'm currently sitting in a hotel room in Phoenix, Arizona. My man is here for business (more on that later) and I am "along for the ride" for a MUCH needed (more than I knew) time for me to sleep, pray, read, walk, study, work and BLOG/write! To say I've "looked forward to" this time away with God (and Tom) is a huge understatement but after arriving two days ago, I can say that I not only wanted this time...I NEEDED this time...desperately.
I'm blessed to work in a place that encourages "DAWG" (Day Away With God) days. We are encouraged to take a few each year - days just to stay out of the office - go and do something that connects you with God and refills your soul. I've been a huge advocate/spokeswoman for "you need to take a DAWG day and get refreshed" with co-workers and friends..and yet I have been horrible at doing it myself. To that end - the last few months I have felt myself drying up mentally, emotionally and even spiritually (I'm picturing a grape shriveling up to a nasty looking raisin). I've been going through the motions and often have felt, "If I can just get through this week..." (unfortunately - I was beginning to think that EVERY week). I'm thankful for people in my life that finally said, "YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF AND REFUEL" - all the way down to my parents, children and siblings that purchased the plane ticket that forced me to be here. In regards to rest/refueling, I've definitely been living the "do as I say, not as I do" motto. Ugh.
While getting reconnected with God is top on my list..a very, very close second is reconnecting with my husband. Due to our non-compatible schedules, two very stressful (financially) years, and too much focus elsewhere, we are not in a great place (not to sound dramatic or alarming - just truthful). I can be honest and upfront about that since many would still consider us "good" or "OK" (and basically, that's true)...but we have always wanted to be "great"! Marriage is VERY important to both of us; we consider it a passion and a calling since, from day one, we have had to fight hard to have one that truly honors God and is a joy to both of us. So - I'm thankful for a week of eating dinner together EVERY night, some FUN (like going to see a spring training game for the Rangers) and some deep conversation that will help us work out some kinks and grow to love and respect each other more.
On our first night here (Sunday), Tom gave me a hug when we got in to bed and said, "I'm really glad you are here". The only thought I had was, "My biggest fear is that I'll leave in the same condition that I came". I'm thankful today for a God who has met me in both humorous and deeply personal ways in the last 48 hours....and am already beginning to feel like "Lori" again - which is so much better than the "??" I was being the last few months.
I feel better...more "me"...just writing/typing my thoughts out (and finally posting SOMETHING on this blog - that was God's idea in the first place!).
As I prayed over recommitting to post more on this blog (believing I do have plenty to say), I was going to make it my "goal" to not end EVERY entry with "Just sayin"...but, SERIOUSLY - is there any better way to end one's thoughts??
I'm JUST SAYIN!